[Wednesday, March 18, 2009]
im on hiatus at present, amounting workload & fighting against personal stuffs. kinda down these day. a period of emo-ing. hope i be up & about again soon.emy contacted me back & i no longer looking forward to anything with her except being friends. lily contacted me recently,getting update bout family that i once close with before.. & debbie, tied down with assignments & other personal stuffs. hope she able to pull thru since she possess a strong character of her own. And for me, just living the day by...i like the music..
11:36:00 PM;
[Sunday, March 8, 2009]
i guess life has gone back to a standstill.. reminiscenes of the past keep playing on my mind over what i have went thru all the 25 years of mine. At times i thinking how good can a one's life be & how do i achieve happiness. literally i just want to find that sumone whom willing to share her lifetime with me. i've looked, i've searched but i still haven't found what i'm looking for.. all i wish is the simplest person on earth who appreciate what i wud do for her. she can be as plain jane as it can be.. as long she has a big heart who wud makes me feel that its all worth it.at times i dunno how difficult i cn be as a person until people makes all the remarks about how i treat them.all along the pressure thatthey felt i nuthin about me but its all about them, their intrest at heart, but as always i get misunderstood usually.perhaps its just too easy for me to commit but it doesnt mean its easy for them to do the same.thou i had lived in shadows for a long time, i still want to get out of it & accept new things in life. but always those new things are the ones that brings me down..if reciprocity is the key to a relationship between a person, i supposed it wud be buried over time as people only take things for granted.why must all this things happen in each & everyone's life. i wonder if i will always life in agony.. my pains, can u feel it? definitely,.. unlikely.
10:10:00 PM;
[Monday, March 2, 2009]
sometimes i wonder.... if i am one of the unfortunate individual who feelings are being jeopardise & life is like a roller-coaster.. someday u r up, high-spirited & the other day u r down, demoralise.. does it mean the more ppl dun wish to be disturbed, the more distant i shud move away? i feel my emotions running upside down. i doubt anyone feels like i do. ppl r too busy to care of ur feelings. life is like a rat's race afterall. chasing after glory & leaving behind te baggage which maybe too heavy-laden for them to carry along their journey. do people wish to received but dun wish to give. i wonder.. i really wonder why must i put up living in a place like this. to tell the truth.. i feel like running away from everything. all i know is to eat up the pains cause im afraid i might impos pressure when im not suppose to.. im feeling unappreaciated all this while...
11:35:00 PM;
[Sunday, March 1, 2009]
today just like everyother Sundays.. slow & plain..
Went out for a haircut since i find that my hair dun seems to grow longer but thicker so i guess i shall keep a short hairstyle for the time-being. Aniwae i guess its like 6mths ago wher i had my short hairstyle.Also went for a little toiletries shopping for my SHampoo..been in love with Silkpro shampoo a mth ago..im trying out this new shaver by Shick. its a shaver with a trimmer at the bottom..i wonder why shaver cost that much..
i dun think the week that has past is that great thou.i had pretty much bad time a work & personally not stable as well.i wud say that im pretty much sensitive & emo. it goes to show that im not an empty person inside. sometimes i wonder if ppl wish for an empty person or with feelings.at times its hard to please ppl & i realised that u left unappreciated for what u have been ther for.be here when u in need & be gone in pursuit of your happiness.it happen more than i can remember..why do ppl behave this way? is this wat it meant to be.. i still misses the times i had with all the past friendship that i have ever had which had been buried due to them pursuing glory in their lives in this world..im not exactly blaming them but if only they cn open up the mind & think why its important to care about the ppl around them.. u never know if that person is gone when u want to look for them back. im quite saddened with the way they rule the friendship.
i appreciate this one fren of mine from childhood.We gre up together in the neighbourhood but it suprises me that we able to keep the friendship till we are of this age.thers another gud fren of mine living her life away in DUBai..SHe's my Bimbo classmates from primary school.they are the only ones that really stays available when i need them & i do make my time for them too. Are friends nowadays become materialistic?
At times im left clueless with questions in my head on what friends really wish for in friendship. im always sumone who need assurance.. thou its unfair for me, i feel bad for neglecting them but yet im feeling the pain of swallowing the blame to make things better..god knows how long can i hold on to it...
11:13:00 PM;
[Friday, February 27, 2009]
well come the end of the week.. it will be a saturday tomorrow and yarh.. i dun think i be doin anithin much.. im actually feeling very tired.. very tired over personal & work. next week i guess will be the worst week dat i will have to face. just why cant i regain my energy & power to survive this weekend. thou i planned for a gud weekend, things dat we planned doesnt always happen. den again i knew i had tried my best & do what i guess i suppose to do. i guess before long i will finally agreed to what people says..
im really tired being this way. must i suffer thru all ordeal without any assurance & support at all? why must it always happen this way? i wonder who bother to read my cries over here but i guess it really doesnt matter. i guess me just being insignificant like someone told me before. i guess this is what i deserves.. i guess i will put all the stop from falling in too deep in being a fool out of myself which hurts in too deep.
1:40:00 PM;
[Thursday, February 26, 2009]
ermm.. work had been piled-up & i have been staying back late in the office. well my Spring '09 campaign installation is next week so we are currently super tight on schedule to meet the timeline. All due to recession that we have to do most of the production in-house rather than sourcing out to contractors. What so great being an artist heh.. i still wish to be a true blue visual merchandiser thou. this Spring'09 campaign, i will make history whereby my store will be the first departmental store to have an airport trolley being place as a supporting props. i suppose customer will like "ouh! isnt this the Changi Airport trolley? wher on earth they got this from??" well if they react that way meant i have manage to attract which translate to effective product presentation.hehe. Ouh currently down the aisle of our store walkway wher the famous stretch of orchard road is, Clarins are setting up a massive booth for their upcoming event.. its like 2 storey high construction which gonna take sumtime to built... nevertheless, im still waiting for the launching of HELLO KITTY by MAC. well its not that i wish to buy but the proposed booth that they flow to us looks super cute & nice? thers gonna be a very big Meow!! haha. ouhkie i need to start back working. sigh~
signing off,
I.L.DSHSY (>.<)
10:35:00 AM;
[Tuesday, February 24, 2009]
ok lets admit it. im just being paranoid.. everything is back to normal now. i think its gud that i told her how & wat im feeling so as there's no misunderstanding. i wudnt say this is love i wud say this is about treasuring one another.for now i do really appreciate her presence & yah for not drifting away. feeling better now after the assurance yesterday. she's nice afterall and she being patience to this. thanks DSHSY..
this is the last week of production before the Spring '09 campaign kicks in next week, i believe we'll be in hell soon. but definitely not as crazy like we had during Christmas time. I'm actually quite drained althou its only the tuesday of the week.. i got the whole level 3 to myself with several display point to be taken care of & yah.. report early for installations! arrghhh!! let us see the different timing i had for my work. if i were to report at Orchard for normal duty - 9am +++ (as we hardly come early..) if i need to be in Henderson office - 8.30am ( transport leaves orchard-henderson, the driver always drives off ON THE DOT! >.<) and for installation in the morning is 8am. i already had trouble waking up sometimes. ;P if thers nitework i probably leave for home around 11-12AM +++ so wat is so great being a Visual Merchandiser?
then again who to blame for loving this profession. hehe.
10:29:00 AM;
