For now.. I actually quite tired. tired of everything for anything. For the first time.. i really dun feel like doing anything but sleep my way thru days. Work hasnt been that really great as how it meant to be. People hasnt been really great either. I didnt regret to leave Nike but i regret to choose a job hastily. For now im sure wher i'm going now. it seem so messed-up & confused now.
On personal life, things are not going any better for now. every years it been like this so i'm kind of like so used to all this. so used to disappointment. At times i wonder how much people care for our feelings. Are they being selfish enuf to only think bout themself. At times, their words doesnt resounds their actions. In a way its kind of sad to encounter such people. living in disappointment lasted since in primary school days when living without a mother is extremely tough. Care & feelings doesnt always last long. They pass by, pity u & left. that's what has always been. To a certain point of time, i hav always thought i found the love of my life. everytime other time, i always give a chance for relationship because we never know wher we can go unless we try. At times, people dun understand me, never wanted to understand me of wat i am. As if i asked to be born like this. i also understand that i cant change to wat they want & i wudnt want them to change to what i want. its the matter of how i adapt to it & how the other party adapt to it. i want to run.. far far away from everyone because no one ever knew wats runnning in the heart & mind of mine. No one ever cared.
This is just an expression moment of mine as i aint got no one to turn to. No one. People just pretend to be there.
To those who had killed & shattered my hopes, my dreams, my expectations, if u know how hard my heart cried taking in all these while, there still some human in u.
- eRman -
