[Friday, February 27, 2009]
well come the end of the week.. it will be a saturday tomorrow and yarh.. i dun think i be doin anithin much.. im actually feeling very tired.. very tired over personal & work. next week i guess will be the worst week dat i will have to face. just why cant i regain my energy & power to survive this weekend. thou i planned for a gud weekend, things dat we planned doesnt always happen. den again i knew i had tried my best & do what i guess i suppose to do. i guess before long i will finally agreed to what people says..
im really tired being this way. must i suffer thru all ordeal without any assurance & support at all? why must it always happen this way? i wonder who bother to read my cries over here but i guess it really doesnt matter. i guess me just being insignificant like someone told me before. i guess this is what i deserves.. i guess i will put all the stop from falling in too deep in being a fool out of myself which hurts in too deep.
1:40:00 PM;
[Thursday, February 26, 2009]
ermm.. work had been piled-up & i have been staying back late in the office. well my Spring '09 campaign installation is next week so we are currently super tight on schedule to meet the timeline. All due to recession that we have to do most of the production in-house rather than sourcing out to contractors. What so great being an artist heh.. i still wish to be a true blue visual merchandiser thou. this Spring'09 campaign, i will make history whereby my store will be the first departmental store to have an airport trolley being place as a supporting props. i suppose customer will like "ouh! isnt this the Changi Airport trolley? wher on earth they got this from??" well if they react that way meant i have manage to attract which translate to effective product presentation.hehe. Ouh currently down the aisle of our store walkway wher the famous stretch of orchard road is, Clarins are setting up a massive booth for their upcoming event.. its like 2 storey high construction which gonna take sumtime to built... nevertheless, im still waiting for the launching of HELLO KITTY by MAC. well its not that i wish to buy but the proposed booth that they flow to us looks super cute & nice? thers gonna be a very big Meow!! haha. ouhkie i need to start back working. sigh~
signing off,
I.L.DSHSY (>.<)
10:35:00 AM;
[Tuesday, February 24, 2009]
ok lets admit it. im just being paranoid.. everything is back to normal now. i think its gud that i told her how & wat im feeling so as there's no misunderstanding. i wudnt say this is love i wud say this is about treasuring one another.for now i do really appreciate her presence & yah for not drifting away. feeling better now after the assurance yesterday. she's nice afterall and she being patience to this. thanks DSHSY..
this is the last week of production before the Spring '09 campaign kicks in next week, i believe we'll be in hell soon. but definitely not as crazy like we had during Christmas time. I'm actually quite drained althou its only the tuesday of the week.. i got the whole level 3 to myself with several display point to be taken care of & yah.. report early for installations! arrghhh!! let us see the different timing i had for my work. if i were to report at Orchard for normal duty - 9am +++ (as we hardly come early..) if i need to be in Henderson office - 8.30am ( transport leaves orchard-henderson, the driver always drives off ON THE DOT! >.<) and for installation in the morning is 8am. i already had trouble waking up sometimes. ;P if thers nitework i probably leave for home around 11-12AM +++ so wat is so great being a Visual Merchandiser?
then again who to blame for loving this profession. hehe.
10:29:00 AM;
[Monday, February 23, 2009]
my feelings was killed and my emotions died at 12:38:32PM
1:24:00 PM;
[Sunday, February 22, 2009]
im feeling so all by myself. i feel im being ignored, being neglected. i also feel im bothering, im useless, im irritating.. every other time i waited for the messages.. it didnt came. i waited for the calls.. it didnt came. do i have to make the moves everytime.. do i have to keep the ties secured by myself or it takes both of us to keep it together. i suppose she really have no idea how she means to me, because it is wat im experiencing deep inside. perhaps one day when she likes sumone & thats sumone treat her like this than she will know how it feels. sometimes they doesnt realise it. i utterly... terribly disappointed with what happen. i feel all is myself to b blame... im all to blame for all the mess.. i feel at fault for wishing for her to be there for me like how i am there for her everytime of the day.. god, i miss her alot.. i miss her messages, i miss her voices, i miss her "yup yup", i miss her smile.. i miss everything about her. im totally clueless about what i shud do... althou i needed her, i know she have alot of things on hand to remember me for a sec.
shud i give up or shud i just keep chasing pavement...
10:09:00 PM;
im trying to find time.. time to pen down all i have in my thoughts. thers alot in here just that i have no one to confide to apart from my pillow & and this blog. there are ppl who proclaimed that they are there to hear me out but i just find its not appropiate for me. on the other hand, the one that i wished to be there for me are not there.. i recall sumthing which says "lets be ther for one another" now it left me thinking if words are louder than actions.
i do at times wonder why i'm readily available for people yet people are not readily to make their presence felt. am i such a fool to have got this kind of way of treating people. i realise that im likely a person who have to beg for attention. is it so bad..? why... i wonder... over & over again, im always left by myself to comfort my own.. everytime, it feels like the time where emy is in the picture. i lived by her shadow & finally let go the 4 years long of companionship. from there i found out that those 4 years is wat i have hold on by myself.. i feel the world is unfair to me. to have tested me all these obstacles of life.
now.. i have found a fren. a fren out of virtuality. i enjoyed her presence so much & i feel we have the common interest. but the doubt is, what have she really done to have made her embedded to me? is this be d same like before.. where i have to struggle to keep it alive.. or we will drift away..
isit so hard to settle down with a person to live thru times. everything is so fragile..
its her birthday today.. happy birthday to her..
6:31:00 PM;
after a long break since last year.. i might be back here again to post all my thoughts.. its been close to 10mths disappearing from blog world & to back here again. i shall try to update as much as i cud since this s a place where i cud seek in solace as ppl ae superficial.. perhaps im too emo dats y im decide to pen all this down..but ya.. im back... to blog world.
4:02:00 PM;
